As a kids or youth pastor, have you ever felt like you’ve repeated yourself over and over again and yet no one was getting it? I know I’ve certainly been there. This last week though, I was reminded of Proverbs 22:6. One of our senior students came back to church after a few years, and had finally grasped a concept we’d taught her for so many years before….She finally began doing her devos every day and as a result in a few short weeks God had completely transformed her life. You see, on youth trips in middle school we had taught her the tools she needed to spend time with God. It may have taken a few years, but in her time of need she was able to think back and remember the training she had.

A few years into youth ministry, I realized one of the biggest differences between students who keep their faith after high school and those who don’t is their personal devotions. Students who actually develop a personal, daily devotional time are so much more likely to continue their walk with God. As a pastor, one of my greatest goals has been to see my students thriving in their personal devotion time. Yes, we take them to every youth event possible. Yes, we fundraise to get them to camp and youth conference, Fine Arts and missions trips. And we truly believe those events are foundational and crucial because they place students in an environment to encounter God and hear Him speak. But as we all know, students (and adults for that matter), cannot live from event to event. 

So early on in ministry we tried to be as intentional as we could to build in time on youth trips to give students an environment to practice their personal devotions. Sure, most will still have that “post-conference/camp crash”. But if they know how to seek God on their own, when they’re ready to pick themselves back up they’ll have somewhere to start from. With youth conference and KidsCon approaching, I just wanted to share a bit of what has worked well for us on trips to help students develop their devo life. 

We build time into our schedule each morning on every youth trip to do daily devos with our students. We have the adult in each room lead this time (but you could absolutely meet all together if you are short on adult leaders.) It’s not convenient to forfeit sleep on trips like this, but I promise you the eternal impact is so worth it! It’s such a great environment to equip students with the tools they need to encounter God on their own.

The following are the notes we give our leaders for this time. Hopefully some of it is something that could be beneficial for your group as well. Even if it’s not, hopefully it gets your wheels turning about how you can be intentional with the time you have with students on trips. If you have any questions, I’d love to connect!

Morning Devos

Our heart for this time is for students to

1. Process - Have a chance to process and journal about what God has done in their lives at service. Satan wants them to forget what God did. Talking and writing about it helps them remember.                                                   a) We have each student share                                                                                     i) Their favorite thing from the previous day                                                     ii) Something that God did in their life or spoke to them at service. (or something they liked that the speaker said if they can’t come up with anything)

       2.  Ponder & Puzzle- Provide a safe place to ask questions about their faith that the message might have provoked.

                 a) Ask if any of the students took notes and allow them to                                                recap those. Then go through your notes and summarize some of the main points and analogies/stories. Involve the students in this process and ask them questions.

        3.  Practice - Talk about the importance of spending time with God each day and that the key to continuing to grow closer to God when they return home is spending time with Him each day. It doesn’t happen just by going to church and events. 

1. Discuss what a healthy daily devotional time looks like (reading the Word, listening, journaling, prayer, worship, etc.)
   
2. Give them a chance to share what they currently do & share what your devotional life looks like
   
3. Make a plan for going home - when & where will they spend time with God each day?
   
4. Give them each a S.O.A.P. handout and explain that process to them.
   
5. PRACTICE                                                                                                                                 i) Have them split up across the room. Play some quiet       worship music. Have them spend 5 minutes reading the Bible, 5 minutes praying, and 5 minutes journaling.
6. Come back together. Give those wanting to share a chance to speak about what God spoke to them or they learned. Close in prayer. 
   

*These are our devos specifically for youth con. On all other trips, we do #1 and #2 in the evening after services and save #3 for the morning. With youth conference being so late, we do it all in the morning. 

This has become so real to me in the last year.

I’ve taught kids the Ten Commandments multiple times in my 30 years of ministry. And I have always reconciled that idols are anything that we put importance on in front of God. I use example of money, material objects, popularity, friends, sports, and video games. But all the while, I forgot that there were things that I didn’t see as idols, but they very much crept in the way of my love and worship for God.

As an adult, who was a father, husband, and minister, I have realized 3 areas that I wasn’t careful to keep from being idols in my life. And maybe you are dealing with this too.

My Kids!
As a father of 5 boys, you can imagine that I spend quite a bit of time participating in their activities! I’ve coached football and wrestling, put in parties for birthdays, taken them swimming or sledding, done outdoor activities such as camping and hiking, not to mention the school programs and meetings. Yes, I stay busy, because I want to be the greatest father in the world. But I failed in fathering my children too. I didn’t spend enough time in God’s word with them.

But they became an idol. I spent so much of my time making sure that I attended their activities, that I forgot the importance of spending time to pray for them daily. I’m not saying that I never prayed for my kids. But I certainly could have prayed more. I could have been praying daily that they be covered in the Armor of God. That’s huge, by the way. In the last 4 months, I pray almost daily that they would be clothed in God’s armor, because there is a battle that is raging for them.

I have also started praying that they begin to see themselves as created in the image of God. Something I never did before. It is so important that they find their identity in Jesus rather than the things around them.

My Spouse!
For years, I spent my time making my spouse an idol. God really brought that to my attention last year. My pastor was preaching on the Ten Commandments. He drew my attention to the fact that my spouse could be an idol. I thought I was simply trying to love my wife and be the best husband I could be. But I often left God out of that equation. I failed to make Him the center of our relationship.

I was so worried about losing my spouse and being alone, that I forgot to put God first. I found myself worshipping her rather than my creator. I gave in to things I normally wouldn’t have. I chose to ignore behaviors that were pleasing to God. Far too often. And rather than spending time with her in the word, I spent time with her watching TV.

Do not allow this to happen to you; it will only carry on for so long before there become real problems. Keep God as the center of it all, and do not make an idol out of your spouse.

My Ministry!
This one can hit home for all of us. Some of you reading this, don’t have a spouse or kids, but you are most likely involved in ministry in some way, shape, or form.

After 22 years in full-time ministry, and another 8 being a volunteer, I began to realize that I found my identity in being a pastor. In fact, I often was so busy doing ministry, that I didn't take time for personal study and devotions. I simply tried to allow my study for ministry be enough. I even knew this was a bad idea, but did it all too often.

As I was stepping away from full-time church ministry into a different capacity, my wife said something that really jarred me . . . 

“Jeff, you are finding your identity in being a pastor, rather than finding your identity in Christ. You focus on what you can DO for God too much. We are human beings, not human doings.”

Uhhhhh...... ouch!

It was so true. As I have continued to participate in ministry, I have begun making sure that I spend time with God just for personal growth. And I have seen God do even more amazing things since then. We’ve seen the Holy Spirit move in a couple camps this last year. And I believe that between me staying closer to God, and the district being spiritually prepared, God was willing to pour out His Spirit in those places. (He could have done that without me, but He chose to use me.)

Are there other hidden idols in your life? Things that seem like a good thing, but you let get in the way of being close to Jesus? Things that are keeping you from making Him your first love?

Take some time to evaluate where you are, and if you find that you are struggling to make God your first priority, contact a friend who can help hold you accountable to this. Or, contact me if you need to. I’ve been there, and I understand.

Don’t allow things to get in the way! Your spouse, your kids, and your church will thank you in the long run!

We’ve all been here before. You see someone you know at church, at the grocery store, or the gas station and the conversation goes something like this: 

“Hey, how’s it going?” 

“Good, how are you?” 

“Doing great, good to see you”

“Good to see you, too!”

…and then you go your separate ways

It’s funny how we’ve replaced “Hi” with “How are you doing?” or “How’s it going?” in our conversations.  “How are you doing?” seems to show that we care about that person more than a simple hello. But the question I have is, do we really mean it? Do we truly care how that person is doing or are we just trying to be nice?  

Personally, I’ve failed at this more times than I care to admit. I have a friend that any time I greet him with a “How’s it going?” proceeds to take the next 5 minutes to give me every detail of his life. To be honest, at first, I was so annoyed that he spent so much time talking about himself, I had things to do and places to be. But then I realized the only person to be annoyed with was myself. After all, I was the one who asked him how he was doing. I can’t ask that and not mean it. 

This week I was reminded how important it is to be sincere with our words because you never know what is really going on in a person’s life. They may look like they have it all together on the outside, they may say that everything is fine but on the inside their world is falling apart. 

A student who had only been coming to youth group for a few weeks came up to me after service and asked if she could share her testimony. Now I had talked with her only a few times and I felt like I had a good read on her. From what I could tell she was a typical happy teenage girl who loved her family and was excited to be at youth group. I thought she was just another normal teenager until she began to tell me her story…

She was raised in a Christian home. She went to church and loved Jesus. But then her parents divorced and things started going downhill.  They stopped going to church and her mom became an alcoholic. Life at home got rough, then in school kids started bullying her and calling her names. So to deal with the pain she began harming herself. Eventually the pain grew so great she attempted suicide. After a failed attempt she went to get treatment which worked for a while but eventually when the pain grew too great again she attempted suicide for a second time. More treatment. She got back on her feet and things were going well until she kept getting bullied at school. Her third attempt at suicide landed her in the ICU for many days and she was moments away from death. More treatment. But this time it was different, this time she gave her life back to God and she thought everything would be ok and life would be good for her. She started making friends again and everything was looking up. Until one day one of her “friends” raped her. Her world started spiraling again…

And this was when I met her, smile on her face…

“Hey, good to see you, how are you doing?” 

“Doing great, how are you?” 

“I’m good too.”

This was the conversation that played out several times over the next few weeks, never knowing the pain she was actually going through! 

I am reminded that no matter how together someone looks you never know what’s really going on in their life. Like this girl, they may be going through unimaginable pain. In this season, God is teaching me to be sincere in all my conversations and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. 

1 Peter 1:22 says that we need to have a sincere brotherly love and “love one another earnestly from a pure heart.” To do that we need to go beyond the superficial and take a moment to slow down and care for the people around us because you never know what someone is going through. The next time I ask someone “How are you doing?” I’m going to mean it.

The rest of the story…this girl attended Youth Conference and God did an amazing work in her life! God showed her that He was with her through all of the pain and every dark moment in her life. God spoke to her that he was going to use her testimony to help others who have experienced similar pain and situations in their life. And last week she was courageous enough to share her testimony with the entire youth group, people she had only met a month ago! God is amazing, He takes our greatest struggles and turns them into victories!

Lord, help us to see people the way You see them. You don’t view outward appearances but You look all the way to the soul. Help us to see every person as someone who needs a Savior.

In 2018, the church, where I was on staff, decided to put its training dollars into coaching as opposed to sending us on a trip to a conference.  The concept was, that for about the same amount of cost, we would get 6 months of ongoing training, where at a conference, the training lasted for a week.

What a concept!

I began to do research on kidmin coaches.  There were several on the internet who had established a history of coaching others.  This was beginning to be exciting.  Ultimately, I chose to hire Jim Wideman, children and family pastor at the Belonging Co church in Nashville, TN.  Jim had a long history as a kidmin coach, and an even longer history as a children’s pastor and ministry leader.  

Jim has been doing ministry almost 40 years.  His experience and expertise seemed unmatchable.  I presented my intentions to the staff, and it was approved.  In February of 2019, we embarked on a road to change things.  

Jim and I embarked on a 6 month journey, where we met via zoom twice a month for 6 months.  Throughout this process, Jim helped me evaluate the ministry I was doing at the church, my personal mental health, my personal spiritual health, and my leadership health.  He assigned me books to read.  Some were business in nature, and some were for personal growth.

The first thing we hit was that I was personally struggling with some things.  Jim had me read two books that helped me recognize some interpersonal struggles I was having.  This wasn’t the be all end all.  There was much more to do.  I started a journey to find emotional health.  One of the things that I was struggling with, was the balance of my relationship with God, versus my relationship with my wife/family, and my relationship with the church.  It’s so easy to allow that to get skewed and miss God’s purpose for us.  Remember, we are human beings, not human doings.  It is important to take time to simply be in God’s presence, and not get caught up doing things for God.

Beyond the personal, which was my biggest epiphany, we began working on some things at the church.  We evaluated personality traits and styles, and we compared them to other staff on my team.  Jim began helping me make steps to better communication with the staff.  

We also began setting goals.  Jim’s book “Stretch” is about taking your ministry from where you are to where you want to go.  I began looking at these steps, and setting goals for the ministry where I was serving.  We looked at the amount of team members we had, and the amount of team members we needed to run a smooth and successful ministry each Sunday and Wednesday.  By laying out this plan, I realized that I needed to recruit many more people to the kids ministry of this church.

One of the gretaest things I learned through this process was that I needed to return to the place where I began.  Relationships…..  relationships became key over the next few months to growing a team, and setting up for success in the future.  I found myself having coffee with current leaders and potential leaders.  By spending time with people, I found that recruiting became much easier.  It goes back to the old adage, “people don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.”  By truly getting to know people, I found that they wanted to be part of what we were doing.

My growth as a minister and leader was greatly effected by the coaching that Jim and I did.  The majority of what he did for me was on a personal level.  In fact, my first 6 months of coaching really ended up being about me growing as a person more than a kidmin leader.  Which is why I ended up hiring him for another 6 months.  Only this time, it was my personal dollars that were invested.

The next thing that happened was a realization that my time at that place was coming to an end.  Jim walked me step by step through the process of stepping out of ministry in a very healthy way.  He helped me to honor those I had worked with, and honor those who would take over.  I am ecstatic to see that future of the ministry that I once led.  

In the end, it wasn’t the end.  It was just the beginning!  I am in my second year of coaching with Jim, only now he’s coaching me as I become a coach.  He’s walked me along the path that has me helping others.  It’s awesome to see what God is doing that is new in my life, and there is great joy in finding a renewed passion for ministry to kids.

I highly recommend that you find someone to coach you.  One of the greatest benefits to coaching is the outside perspective that a coach has.  He/She is looking in from the outside, and they have the ability to see things that you may miss, being on the inside.  There is something to the saying “Can’t see the forest for the trees.”  It’s easy to get caught up in the small picture of your day to day and miss the big picture of what God has called you to.  A coach can help you do that.  

God has designed us for relationships, first and foremost with Him.  But he has given us mentors and coaches who can help us stay focused and grow in the ministry we have been charged with.  These relationships are some of the most important relationships we can have.  And if you can find yourself in a coaching relationship, I believe you will find yourself in a position to grow!  And that’s what we all want anyway!  So find a coach, and GROW!

DFAC, first of all, is just a quick way to say District Fine Arts Coordinator for our SD NextGen. I not only thoroughly savored my student years participating in Fine Arts Festival, volunteering for two years at the national festival, and helping our last two DYDs and two DFACS with Fine Arts Festival the last 11 years, but I’ve also loved the experience of being co-DFAC with Kym under our current DYD for the last two years.

I often hear adults, children, and teenagers alike saying, “I’m not creative. None of us in our group are creative.” I think - this is just for you then! Because Fine Arts isn’t about you being creative, it’s about getting creative in our approach. I love that our SD Next Gen programs & events are about more than just what’s advertised. I would say there’s three components to each. 1. The Advertised Element  2. The God Element  3. The Lasting Element. 

The Advertised Element is obviously what we promote. In short: Fine Arts (FAF)- develop your talent, JBQ/TBQ - memorize the Word, Kids Conference - teaching & experiencing God. 

The God Element is what sets us vastly apart from school/sport activities. Our events aren’t merely reasons to make our calendars busy or boredom-busters for students. The God element is what makes it all worth it. It’s why you, Pastor and Leader, get out of bed in the morning. Even why you wait 5 more minutes for that student who’s always late when you’re departing for an event. You know the student is going to encounter God in a real way that will change their life so you want to make sure they get there! Our events set up the atmosphere, get them away from their normal distractions and present Christ so they have an opportunity to experience His voice for the first time, His grace for the hundredth time, or His unconditional love until they get it’s for them.

These first two may be obvious, but this last aspect is one we can easily forget to realize. The Lasting Element. When we are putting together FAF we ask ourselves, what do we want to be lasting from their experience with this? If they totally bomb on their vocal solo or if a pandemic changes our plans a week before the event . . . then what do we still want the students to get out of this? 

Speaking with one of the churches that earned the top awards at National Fine Arts every year for years, their leaders told me in trying to shift the focus to what’s really important, they made Fine Arts an outreach, highlighted especially in one of their human videos. They cast one of their student’s friends as Jesus; depicting dying on the cross, compassion - the whole nine yards. This self-declared atheist at first, loved theater that he delved into asking questions about who Jesus was so he’d know how to play Him. By the end of their FAF year, this student gave his life to Christ from learning who Jesus really is. 

This may seem like making a simple thing like FAF way more than it is. But if we can catch this, I think it could make us approach all our events & programs with a deeper motivation to find students who need these chances. Instead of considering not doing Fine Arts this year, “I mean, none of us are creative,” what if you saw the potential in a student to be a Children’s Pastor and said, “She needs this.” What if you didn’t dismiss developing a Junior or Teen Bible Quiz team because, “My students aren’t good at memorizing,” and realize it’s about putting the lasting Word of God in their hearts for a lifetime! Who cares if they don’t win the awards or can’t repeat it verbatim?! Years from now the gist of that verse, God will bring back to their memory in a situation when they need it most! My family and I still quote the JBQ answers we learned as children! What if Kids Conference wasn’t about, “I don’t think we can get the leaders for that. Let’s not go,” & instead the drive to try because, “I want that kid whose home life is a wreck to be able to get away for a few days to just get to be a kid.” It’s not about the cool stage lights, if our attendance numbers are up this year, or if your group can win all the awards. Next to the God Element, it’s about a Lasting Element.

In 2005, I watched a Short Sermon at National Fine Arts that illustrates this. An extremely nervous, sweating boy barely managed to sneak out only a few lines of his sermon before bursting into tears crying, “I just can’t do this,” and ran out of the room. I’ve thought about that moment from time to time & always wondered what happened to him. Fast forward a few years to when I was in leadership school in Nebraska and heard their DYD share the same story! “After the festival was over,” the DYD explained to us, “I looked up his address & mailed him a note saying not to give up. That God has plans for him & to not let one seeming failure get in the way of him going after that. A couple years ago, youth groups were arriving for our summer camp & as one youth pastor got out of the van, he ran over to me with a paper he had grabbed from his visor. He told me he was that young boy who ran off the stage, but now he was a youth pastor. He showed me the piece of paper and it was the note I had mailed him years ago. He said he always keeps it with him to remind himself to never give up. That failures can’t ruin the plans God has for you.” 

We invite our Fine Arts students to discover, develop, and deploy the gifts God has given them. Would you take this alliteration to heart as well? Don’t miss the bigger picture of why we do this. Pastor/Leader, would you discover what Lasting Element an event or program can actually have on your students? Do you need more group unity? Do a group category for Fine Arts. The memories built and inside jokes made during group practices will bond them. Develop on purpose the potential you see in a student. Take advantage of the opportunity to teach him how to write a sermon by also voicing the call you see God has on his life. Deploy your students whenever possible. Let them use what’s being cultivated in them now as practice for the rest of their lives. Let the student with some leadership potential who started coming to youth group because she loved FAF Reader’s Theater practice, run the practices next year.

Discover, Develop, Deploy, Pastors and Leaders. 

In this modern world, our children and youth are being bombarded daily by messages from varying sources. Social media in numerous forms vies for their attention, subtly asking them if they are “cool” enough and fit into the norms of the world. The entertainment industry is now much more than radio or a CD - it can be accessed by computer, tablet, or phone, and is available all day to our youth, allowing a pervasive and powerful influence. As our nation drifts further and further from our Judeo-Christian roots, even the primary education system can contradict God’s word. The teachings on Sunday mornings and Wednesday night are often lost in the cacophony of stimulus that our kids are exposed to. It should be little surprise that it has become more difficult to keep our children grounded in their faith once they become adults. 

How do we make the Gospel and Biblical principles more real and lasting as they grow up and leave the circle of our influence? By doing the one thing the world cannot do - being a shoulder to lean on instead of just one more voice. Mentoring, by definition, is a long-term relationship focused on  supporting the growth and development of a young person by someone who is experienced. In the book “You Lost Me,”  The Barna group identified one common complaint among millennials who had left the church - what they had been taught just didn’t seem relevant. A mentoring relationship, if done intentionally, can bridge the gap between theory and reality as they see Christ lived out in our lives as adults. It provides the opportunity for us to answer questions and understand the challenges of growing up in our modern world, and help them apply Godly principles to real problems. 

My favorite story on mentoring happened on a Royal Ranger hike. For several weeks we had been going over the Royal Ranger Code, and had recently talked about what it meant to be “Clean in body, mind, and speech.” I had mentioned that foul language might seem cool, but wasn’t ok with God. On the hike, I noticed one boy who insisted on being right behind me, to the point of starting an argument with a couple other Rangers. Before long, this young man and myself were ahead of the others, and it became obvious that he had something on his mind. As we rounded a curve and the others were no longer in ear shot, he asked me “Commander, do you cuss?” It wasn’t enough for him to hear what we said, he wanted to see it in action, and to know if we actually were living what we taught. 

Mentoring requires more effort. You must be present consistently and intentionally, and spend enough time “doing life” together to build a relationship of trust - whether it’s a hike, regular Wednesday night small group or Royal Ranger meetings, a campout, working on a knot tying merit, coffee after school, attending a high school athletic event or a youth group ski trip. Paul, writing in Titus 2:6-8 summed up God’s model for discipleship, “Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.” If you aren’t already, I would encourage you to begin the process of mentoring the children and youth of your church and community!

     We all know we can’t do ministry alone— we need a team. This is where our volunteers, our team, our leaders come in. Recently our staff read the book, Ready, Set, Grow by Scott Wilson. One of the key aspects of the book is that in order to grow, we need to multiply our leadership. We need to appoint and empower leaders to do the work of the ministry. What opportunities are we giving our leaders to lead in their strengths? Are we humble enough to delegate or pass on ministry moments to our leaders so we can see growth spread in our congregation and in our youth and kids ministries? I’m still growing in this area and have to weekly re-evaluate and seek out leaders so we can have open communication about where they are at and where they would like to grow in ministry. 

     I asked some of my leaders questions to start the conversation on this growth and I thought I’d share them with you. Hopefully this sparks an understanding in you of how you can reach your leaders, encourage them in their leading, and gauge their involvement in your ministry as you ask them your own questions as well.

     Bryan Misch has been serving on our One80 Youth Ministry team since 2017 serving with two youth pastors. Emily Antonen has also served under the same two youth pastors as Bryan for her three and a half years on the youth team. Kristie Arens has been serving in youth ministry for 20+ years and has lead with six different youth pastors. 

     When I asked these leaders what their favorite part of youth ministry is they all shared an equal love for seeing students truly understand what they are being taught. Bryan also stated that he loves seeing the growth from child to young adult as it is a time of “responding to the spiritual needs of teens and building trusting relationships” as they grow in “education, connection, formation, and hopefully transformation.” 

     In response to the question, “How involved do you like to be as a volunteer and would you like to serve more or less?” Kristie said that if she lived closer she would serve even more than she already does (she is on our Leadership Team, which are leaders who want to invest more time than just coming to events and being present on Wednesdays and have more of a say in youth ministry decisions). Because of the distance and because she also farms, she needs to prioritize her calling and her family while still being able to serve as much as she has in ministry. Kristie stated in both her answer to this question and to the next that her calling is “to my husband, my family, my farm” first. As a side note—be sure to celebrate these decisions in your leaders. Kristie has been in youth ministry the longest of our leaders and has a passion for leading youth to Christ. She is dedicated and sacrifices a lot to be on our Leadership Team. I know she and our other leaders who live farther away, can feel pulled in different directions from home and ministry and volunteering on other teams. Let’s remember to communicate our appreciation for these invested leaders regularly and applaud them when they state and stick to their boundaries concerning their families and careers. 

     Bryan, another leader who serves in multiple areas in the church, said that though he cannot commit to serving more now, he does think it would fun to be part of our Leadership Team some day to “give my thoughts and share ideas and to be more supportive of our youth pastor.” (I have the best leaders!) 

     My third question to these leaders was, “What is one thing you would love all youth and kids pastors to know from the perspective of a volunteer?” Emily said, "Leaders want information— don’t leave us out in the cold—we want to help.” I have loved being able to see how much this group of leaders want me to give them things to do and how much they want information about what’s going on. Sometimes I might feel like I have given my leaders the information in so many ways through text, paper copy of our calendar, weekly info, and Marco Polos but you can never over share to your volunteers the information of what you are doing and why you are doing it. I am challenged by this idea weekly— how can we efficiently and sufficiently get information from our heads to our leaders so they are fully prepared? 

     Bryan shared his honest thoughts on what he would like all kids and youth pastors to know from a volunteer. First, “It’s not fair to ask volunteers to do something that they haven’t been trained for.” Everything from weekly contacts to leading a small group and addressing behavioral issues should be something we invest time in to our leaders. How effective are we at this? Do we as pastors just assume they know how to do it? What resources can we use to further those teaching moments? Bryan went on to say, "Have you ever felt that your leaders ‘don’t get you?’ It could be that you need to get them first… In the same way that the volunteers serve the youth, remember it’s ok to serve the leaders… Maybe follow up with them to find out how things are going; not just in their ministry to the students but other areas of their lives.”

     From a volunteer’s perspective, Kristie would like all kids and youth pastors to know, “We are not superheroes. We feel a calling but youth pastoring is not our job.” But that doesn’t stop Kristie— “We just want to make a difference. If we can help a student avoid tumbling down a mountain. If we can point one towards Christ. We want to make a difference.” I LOVE THIS! This sums up perfectly the heart of our volunteers in our ministries. I challenge each of us to encourage this heart of serving in our leaders by giving them responsibilities to grow, investing in their lives even outside of ministry, and growing in our communication so we can stay on the same page as together we lead this next generation to Christ. 

     Lastly, how can we encourage our volunteers in their leadership? Kristie mentioned ways that I honor our youth leaders well—buying coffee for leaders at Youth Conference, giving them birthday gifts, praising them, and writing notes of encouragement and prayers to each leader. Kristie’s love language is words of affirmation and gifts but she also appreciates being trusted to handle things in the ministry— it goes a long way in showing how much I appreciate her. 

     Emily also talked about her love languages of quality time and words of affirmation for ways to specifically show encouragement and appreciation to her. She encourages pastors to get to know what your leaders love language is so you can affirm them that way. 

     Bryan said encouragement goes such a long way and can be done in so many different ways. “Never underestimate just how insecure [leaders] are!” He feels that most volunteers often feel that they are not very good at leading. Sometimes they wonder if the work they do is appreciated. A way to combat that feeling is to provide group feedback whenever you meet as well as speaking to leaders individually about the work they are doing. Group feedback is a great chance to talk about how well your leaders are relating to students and individual communication affirms their efforts in specific ways.

     After reading this maybe you have some of your own questions for leaders to share with me and the other pastors so please reach out with your ideas so I can continue to grow my volunteer team and teach them to do the work of the ministry as we do life together. 

My name is Jonathan Molan, my wife is Heather, and we have three children: Elijah 6, Elizabeth 3, and Joshua 7 months. Heather and I have been in Huron for almost 7 years now and life has been an adventure. I carried my wife into our first home together, became a dad, lost a son named Judah, experienced a church split, now moving our current church location to another. I have also had multiple jobs as a substitute teacher, bus driver, contractor, now a film business. It surprises me how fast the sun and moon rotate each day. Life has never been as fast for me as it is now. I have heard it said, “We are just as defined by the things we say no to as the things we say yes to.” When I say “no” to something, the something or someone that naturally got my “yes” receives value. It’s wise to know when to say either. 

A few years ago I was invited to be part of a pastor’s cohort for rural communities called Watertower: The Icon of Rural America. Some of the information I learned from it shaped the way that I think today. Perhaps the most impactful concept to me was the idea that if someone were to sell all they had, move to the brush of Africa, and live in a mud hut to tell people about Jesus, in the church culture they would be deemed a hero—and rightly so. However, if the same person decided to move to a town of 100 people in rural America and give the rest of his life to that town one of two things would happen: either his church would remain small and he would be considered a mild failure of society or it would grow and he would soon be encouraged to move on to a larger church/community as a form of promotion. Why is that? 

In America “bigger is always better”—at least so we think. The way we reach people in cities can be the same exact way we reach people in rural America, but most times rural requires longevity and trust built with the people of that community. Committed relationships influence regions. Unfortunately many people have listened to the call to use their first church/community as a stepping stone to something bigger. Like most other pastors, I have been invited to serve in other capacities around the nation but haven’t felt God leading my family that way.  Ultimately, where God has asked me to remain, I consider to be “bigger and better”. 

If you ever had a job, you know perspective changes when you give your two-weeks notice before leaving. In one of my first jobs after turning in my two-weeks notice, my boss came into my workplace when I was a young teenager telling me, “You’re already checked out.” He was referring to my focus and my passion for the job, and he was right. If I constantly entertain the thought to move on to another place it actually effects me in a negative way: I want to influence a town but I’m “already checked out”. Moving into a small community is courageous and each moment and decision matters. However, decisions influence people 100x greater when people know you love well and you are there to stay. 

With a growing a family, I started working in the school systems primarily to make money because starting off in a small church I didn’t make a lot of money. My first 3 years were only focused on the people attending our church. At Watertower they pushed concepts to “pastor communities.” It’s the idea that we are to seek the prosperity of the city we are in regardless of if the people ever attend our church or not. I returned to the school system with fresh perspective. My influence to youth went from 20 in the church to over 1000 in the school systems. The obvious temptation is to only invest into the people we are going to get something out of. Thanks to Watertower, I have a new love and respect for these small towns of South Dakota. 

Staying committed to the the town or city God has called you to goes hand in hand with another very important aspect of successful long-term ministry. This is keeping your spouse’s health, dreams, and desires completely honored as you do your ministry that God has called you too. I would say this is even a higher calling than the ministry itself.  

I love being discipled by my wife. She responds quickly to God’s voice, prays & fasts, travels long distances to attend prayer meetings, and she will stay up late into the night to worship. I tell her often times she is like the ark of the covenant, where she is, there God is, a light and blessing to so many. She is full of wisdom and joy. When I see her thrive I know my family is healthy. I cannot over exaggerate how important it is to make the health of your spouse first as a priority to discover the will of God. It’s not to give her what she wants, it has more to do with always advocating and never accusing. When I am in the wrong she will let me know, but she will advocate for me. The difference being the confrontation has hope of restoration as its foundation not the need to be right. When your spouse is healthy in spirit, soul, and body, it honors God and it also enables you to respond to life in power instead of react to life’s pressures. You can be mighty for God by yourself but when you take your spouse with you (keeping them healthy and pouring into them), God is so blessed by your honor for your spouse His grace abounds in every area of life. If you’re married, honor for your spouse is truly a secret to success in the kingdom of God.

To me, whatever job I decided to take mattered very little. Yes, I take it to God but God cares more about our hearts than job/promotions. What matters most is if you are staying white hot for Jesus, and are you loving people well? If you’re married, are you loving your spouse and kids as an advocate? If you’re not married, your parents, siblings, friends, and authorities? Are you all in? Are you committed? Love covers a multitude of wrong doings. You can mess up many times if you learn to love well. Your family will stand in your corner advocating for you and in turn you will do the same. This results in regions taken over by God’s kingdom. Give us grace, God, as we learn to stay committed to the people you have called us to and to care more about individuals than the ministry.

This just in… Relationship is still key!

As we continue to do youth ministry in compliance with CDC and local government restrictions know that our primary objective has not changed! We as youth pastors are called to partner with parents to make disciples. Young men and women who choose to live counter-culture and follow after Christ. Making disciples isn’t about programs and events, it is about relationships!

Many of us are huggers and high-fivers. Seeing a group of students and leaders compels us to interact with some form of touch, fist bump, side hugs, chest bumps, hand shakes, and the like. Today we get to be creative and engage our students and leader in the way they interact with each other: Snapchat, InstaGram, Tik-Tok, text and Face Time.

One of my favorite phrases I’ve heard during this pandemic is that God was asserting Himself to the place we focus, engage, and perhaps are addicted: our phones! I know that even before the pandemic started as a way of getting God’s Word to our students as a daily engagement we started a verse of the day on SC and IG. Our kids will open SC and IG multiple times a day and at least once they will get the opportunity to engage God’s Word.

We can as youth leadership teams engage our students in the same way they are already engaging each other. We encourage our youth leaders to send out text messages to encourage, pray for, and converse with students that they lead in our small groups. The message never changes, the method is adjustable. We are still engaging in discipleship through relationship, allowing students to see our lives and the way we pursue God.

Our students live on their phones! We need to find a way to engage them through their phones. There are many great resources available on their phone but if they don’t open the Bible app, or follow godly accounts on InstaGram, or see snap stories of people who are pursuing God, the phone will do little to encourage their walk with God. Ask yourself: How can our youth ministry be a part of the daily interaction our students have with their phone? A verse, a video, a challenge, how can we be engaging our students in their place of focus, engagement, and perhaps addiction?

Our verse of the day is simply a verse taken from one of the several devotions I personally am doing through the Bible app. Some of the students get the Bible verse more than once because they are joining me in doing the devotional plan on the Bible app. Invite students to join you on your journey. Help them download the Bible app and invite them to do a devo with you. Pick one that focuses on a subject that they are interested in, or something that they are dealing with.

We have a small group that has been meeting on ZOOM outside of our Wednesday night “service”. The small group is using a devotional book and meeting once a week to talk through what they are being challenged in. I DON’T EVEN JOIN THEM!!! I have a youth leader who has a passion for leading small groups and for helping teens engage scripture. She asked permission to start the group, we advertised to the group, and I checked in just to let the students know that I was proud of them… But this group is volunteer led.

How can you engage your student? How can your youth ministry be on the platform of your students’ and leaders’ phone? A generation is living their lives online. We can not dismiss the relationships that can be built in this time under these circumstances.

Online is not the only way to engage your students though. Sending mail is a lost art! I know I’m guilty. Our visitors get a postcard a few days after they come but that is as far as our youth ministry has gone with mail. During the rona we had written cards to each student that we could track an address for. We made them personal… It took time! But the snapchat thank-you’s let us know that the students loved the card! You can also do a drive by delivery! Each week we have a competition online and we have winners, winners get prizes, prizes get delivered!!! It’s fun to show up on the front porch of a student and deliver a treat of their choice.

Don’t let the rona destroy the relationships that are used to engage in discipleship. Take the relationship to the platform of your students. That looks different for each group. Not every kid has a phone… every kid does have an address!

We are called to partner with parents to disciple students let the parents in on your SC or IG so they can see how you are helping them raise men and women of God!

Until the hugs and high-fives are resurrected… Keep the discipleship relationship alive from a safe distance!